That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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