I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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