I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
