my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize