this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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