Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
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It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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