but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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