Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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