I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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