um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
