I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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