Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize