Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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