How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
