everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
