Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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