Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she smelled like a LAN party
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
