She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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