Ambien. No doubt about it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
