my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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