return my video game
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
