At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
