Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
