u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
