So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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