i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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