I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
