how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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