Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
did i just pee glitter
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
