I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
