I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
