I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
