Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
