You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
