I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
