I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
