Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
