I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
