She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
