When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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