"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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