what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
