does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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