the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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