Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
