So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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