She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
