i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just had sex on a roof
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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