If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
