you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
