Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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