i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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