one two three fourrrrnication!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
