i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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