She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize