guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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